I created that mainly to review films that I was watching at university and a few other minor bits and pieces. I was by no means an expert, not even in the same stratosphere as the likes of Siskel and Ebert or Mark Kermode. I did not have my own unique style, but did do much research beforehand. As the years moved on, posts became less frequent but my film viewing grew and grew from casual to near obsessive and my film collection expanded to the point that I could open my own version of Blockbusters. I began cataloguing all the DVDs I had acquired, in an attempt not catchup on those that I had overlooked so far. During COVID-19 and the lockdown, I attempted watching one film a day (I managed to get up to four or five months) and what helped was finally discovering the worlds of Netflix and Amazon Prime. But the major discovery was Letterboxd, a social platform for showing off your taste in films. I have wrote a number of reviews on there, some as long as some my university assignments and some merely one line. I have introduced others to it and I will continue to utilise its full potential.
The main purpose of this blog though is to put my mind at ease. I have had moments of anxiety for many years, being very self-conscious or myself and everything I do. University was an important time in this for me, as I did not agree with the idea of people squandering all the great knowledge and information at their disposal and getting by with the bare minimum. I almost wanted to put those who did this to shame and make those in charge to take note and be impressed. This mentality would continue with everything that I did afterwards, holding myself and others to a high standard and pushing myself to be the best. But maybe too much. Having high standards of myself has meant that even a simple mistake, even something that is easily be fixed, is a real knock to my confidence, knocking me out of my stride. Being self reflective is meant to allow you to focus on what you do well and how to improve, but in my case I have always seemingly concentrated on the negatives first and I will dwell on those for a long time afterwards. Needless to say, the lockdown escalated my anxiety somewhat and my confidence did take a wallop.
I will not go into too much detail now, but may save it for later posts. I have a better understanding now of the importance of mental health, even if mine is not the best example. It is a constant state of mind that cannot be easily fixed.
Hopefully, this blog will serve as a way of easing my mind and focussing on something else. What may I write about? I am not 100% sure, but maybe a mixture of things - film, music, sport, my state-of-mind, etc. I do have to thank my girlfriend Emily for helping me get back into this groove. And for everything else in general.
Right, here we go again...
